I don’t know about you, but I’ve always been the kind of person that needs to have a clean and organized house (that’s MY standard of clean and organized, not yours) in order to function at my best mentally. When I’m stressed, I clean. When I feel like life is out of control, I clean. When I know someone is coming over, I clean. When I worry about someone showing up unexpectedly, I clean. I can’t be sure, but I think I’ve always been like this. But, there is another reason I clean, now that I have children. <-- I think that sentence just answered itself. Yep, it is now a necessity.
And, although it is increasingly a great necessity to pay active attention to the cleanliness of my house before it grows like a bad science project gone . . . worse, and eats us all alive, I’ve also learned to ease up on my standards of clean over the years (to everyone’s great relief). I can leave dirty dishes in the sink for days, no problem (as long as nobody comes over). I can leave piles of bills and school notes from my kids on the counter until I either take care of them, or realize they are past their due date and throw them away to replace them with new ones. I can leave at least one room in my house looking like a bomb went off at the laundry mat, almost indefinitely. And because nobody is allowed in my bedroom, my room usually gets dibbed as the “bomb shelter” for all the clothes and “to-do-later” projects that pile up.
Usually, it’s at some point though, every few days or weeks (depending on how busy we’ve been lately), that I start looking around at my recently neglected surroundings, twitching at the eyeballs, and mumbling witchty curses under my breath, at any stain that gets in my broom’s path. And, you know what that means-
Oh yes, its’ house cleaning time! My kids know when it’s house cleaning time, because they have been born with a great instinct to want to eat whenever they are hungry, sleep whenever they are tired (which isn’t often enough), and avoid cleaning whenever possible. If I open a door to the room where they are, in order to start cleaning it, suddenly the urge to go to the bathroom is too great for them to suppress, or the need to take care of something in another room is at a life-altering importance level. And, until I realize what they are doing and make them stop, the “Escape and Hide” tactic is what they do, while I am the only one cleaning.
Sound familiar? Well, I just thought I’d offer a few hints that have helped our house-cleaning become a family effort, while at the same time NOT ending in somebody wanting to strangle somebody else. Ready? Here they are:
1. OCD, CDO (that’s OCD in Alphabetical order . . . like it should be) OCD, CDO
-We know exactly how we like things to be, and even though we’ve done it that way a billion times our whole lives, we are probably the only one who even notices or cares, which is particularly devastating, considering the amount of time that was spent figuring out the exactly perfect way to do it.. So, when everything gets cleaned or put away ALL WRONG, just breathe and remember . . . you’ll fix it later. ;o)
2. FiX IT LATER!!!
-This is one I have to add after the OCD, CDO one, because I am Soooooo this way! But, what am I teaching my kids if I ask them to put away their shoes, and then I follow them and (grumbling) re-do it the way I wanted it done in the first place? Besides the fact that I’m oh so loving and approachable at the moment *insert sarcasm*, it’s that they don’t really have to try to help out anyway. Remember, we WANT our kids to learn these things, so no matter how WRONG it is, let it be until later when you can either “fix it” to your liking, or teach them in a gentle voice what you really wanted.
3. One at a time
-Really, it’s ok. I give you permission to accept it. If the only cleaning you got done today was one load of laundry, pat yourself on the back! That’s one less thing you’ll have to do tomorrow. Keeping a clean house is a lot different when you have kids around, than when you don’t. It might look cluttered with toys and fruit snacks, but if the most important jobs get done at least at some point during the week, then you are still on top of it. Good work! :o)
4. Consistency
-Nothing you try ever works for very long, that’s just the nature of the beast, right? BUT, then again, this might work! We never can tell in advanced how long a good idea will last until we try it. The most important thing is to remain consistent, drawing that good idea out as long as it will let us. That means that no matter what light bulb flashes above your head giving you the solution to your cleaning woes, go ahead, make some easy to follow guidelines for yourself and your kids (write them down, if you have to) and REMEMBER them! It just might catch on this time. At our house, we say that having 2 hands means we can each do 2 helpful chores a day before we play outside or watch television. My kids used to actually call out the chores they wanted to do as soon as we got home, so that nobody else would take theirs (they all thought taking out the trash was the easiest, so they always wanted to do that one).
5. Cleaning Games
-These are fun for me. I like them a lot. But, my kids KNOW all my games, so sometimes we don’t play them for a while, because they have learned how to wiggle out of their responsibilities when I’m in game-mode. STILL, sometimes, when I just want one or two things done, a game is a great way to keep the mood (and the cleaning) light. You can set a timer and see if you can finish a job before it goes off. You can race to see who makes their bed the fastest (boys love competition, so we race a lot). You can try a relay race with sorting laundry, or practice math by counting by 2’s, or 5’s when picking up Lego’s. My friend does something called “Boss of the Room”, where everyone takes turns being in charge of a room, telling all the other people what to do to clean it all up until it’s done. And then they go on to the next room, where someone else takes a turn being in charge. You can bribe, if you want to . . . I don’t very often, but if it works for you, awesome! The thing to remember with cleaning games is – it’s supposed to be fun! So, if you aren’t having fun, you aren’t playing a game, you’re playing “Do-this-or-else-I’m-going-to-go-crazy” And, really, who wants to play that? :P
**Side Note: I’m sorry; I don’t have any good tips for getting spouses to follow a cleaning routine. Remember, I am divorced . . . but, I wouldn’t recommend that to everyone as a cleaning tip. ;o)
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