Favorite Things

Every night at the dinner table, my kids and I take turns saying our favorite thing about that day. Now, before you get all weird and think I'm some sort of Martha Stewart of parenting, I have to confess, we really only started this a few months ago.

This is why it's stuck as a routine for us:

**I like it because it gives me a minute at the end of each day to finally connect on a personal level with my kids.

**My boys like it because I'm so busy during the day taking care of all that monotonous living stuff, and they really want/need my attention!

**I think it's good that they have a moment to hear about my day too, because it makes me into a real person to them, and not just that necessary female life-force who delivers them with the things they want.

**And, even though we're focusing on the "favorite thing" of the day, the lines of communication and trust are being opened up so that when not-so-good things happen, we're more comfortable to talk to each other about those, too.


Just think about it for a minute. Say it was a really stressful day, and so many things were going wrong and someone asked you to tell your favorite thing about today, right now. What would you say? I've been known to have those days far too often, and my answer has been "My favorite thing about today is right now, because I'm eating dinner and life is calm for a minute." I sometimes think that most parents are so frazzled and emotionally spent by the end of the day, that dinner time turns into the most insane time to try to push any family bonding time on top of it all. How many of us just want to get through the meal, and keep the kids busy with baths, brushing teeth, or whatever, so we can send them to bed already and finally relax in a moment of silence? (I'm raising my hand . . . typing is getting harder)

Ok, so I'm going to guess most of us feel that way at least half of the week. Now, just for a minute, let's think about what our kids do every day. Who do they talk to? Who teaches them everything about life? Who do they spend time with? Where are they? If your kids are school aged, like mine, they now spend 80% of their awake life away from you. If you work, or are a single parent, you can go ahead and increase that percent to 90-95%. If the only time during the day that we have with our kids is spent during the most stressful times, what are they learning about us? Are we safe to talk to? Are we happy to have them around? Do we want to be a part of their life?

Well, that's the sort of guilt trip I'm trying to avoid, so let's just say that these thoughts are what prompted me as a single mother to spend my precious end of the day hours engaged with my kids. I am not perfect at it. Sometimes, I snap and send everyone to bed at 7:00, only to realize how dumb that is, and I have to tell them to get back up again for another hour. I'm just admitting that I CHERISH my "Me-time", and there are a lot of things I'm still trying to get done at the end of the day that seem more important than a sit-down-meal and (gasp!) maybe even a family game afterwards.

But, I have to say that ever since we've started to really try to put the t.v. off and the computer away (that's my crutch) and just spend some time together each night, it has made a big difference in the mood of our home. I've noticed some strange phenomena around here. Once, my kids saw all their friends playing outside and they decided to stay in and play a board game together. (WHAT?!)

Ok, so that was only a one-time thing, but I'm still shocked it even happened! Oh, and I guess I should mention, my boys are 9, 7 1/2, and 6, so they are at the perfect age to . . . want to dog pile each other and fight over who's in charge of who, all day long. Yep, it's a rowdy house, to say the least, and I'm a very girly-girl at heart, so I continue to stubbornly expect them to learn to be gentlemen someday.

But, I'm off topic. All I'm saying is that we do this and it's good. And, ok,a man probably could have made this same point in 2 sentences, but I'm not a man. I'm a woman. And, I'm the mother of three boys. And, I love them.


(Oh, and my favorite thing about today was getting to cuddle on the couch with my two younger boys, while my oldest made pancakes for everyone for dinner, because I had a migrain.) :)